Your hymen is a stretchy piece of tissue left over from when you developing in the womb, and it does not cover the whole of your vagina. In the rare cases that it does this needs to be fixed with surgery so that your periods can happen, because think about it - if hymens needed to be 'popped' for sex to happen, where the hell was the blood coming from?
The hymen is located a centimetre or two inside the vagina, and is made up of thin folds of mucous membrane. It is slightly pinkish or white depending on thickness, and is elastic and stretchy. Your hymen stays with you your whole life. There is no need for it to be broken, and it shouldn't hurt when you have sex. The hymen may need stretching a little before the first time you have penetrative sex, as it can cover up part of the vaginal canal. Take a look at these images of different hymen (also known as vaginal coronas):
Before the first time you engage in penetrative sex, it's a good idea to start gently stretching your hymen, with fingers, toys, or whatever feels good to you. Doing this for a few weeks before you plan to have sex can help to loosen and stretch the hymen out until it's able to accommodate a penis, strap-on, or whatever object you intend to use.
You'll want to use lots of lube, and go very slowly the first time, so that you don't accidentally tear the hymen. The pain that people talk about is often because they've gone too fast or haven't taken enough care. Yes, you may be incredibly turned on and can't wait to get down to it, but seriously,
If you don't have sex in a long time, your hymen can move back to its original position, and you'll need to take your time, use lots of lube and go slowly again in order to stretch it.
If you're still mystified by the hymen, take a look at this video by Laci Green - it's completely safe for work/school, don't worry!
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